Tuesday, March 5th 2019

WEEKEND UPDATE/MONOLOGUE

 

  • Stormy Daniels announced she’s launching a nationwide standup comedy tour, giving a whole new meaning to the term “Rim Shot.”

 

  • T-Mobile admits it spent nearly $200,000 at a Trump hotel while lobbying for the Sprint Merger. And that was just one guy roaming without wifi.

 

  • During a hearing, New Hampshire lawmakers wore pearls to mock the gun advocate group Moms Demand Action. Sometimes there’s no turnaround between demeaning women and your joint autoerotic asphyxiation appointment and you gotta make do.

 

  • Earlier this week a New Jersey garbage truck fell into a sinkhole. Which, in New Jersey, means six more weeks of winter.

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