- Today was world smile day, LADIES.
- Hugh Heffner died on Wednesday. He was found under your mattress by your mother.
- Giant’s owner Jon Mara scolded Odell Beckham Jr. for his “dog peeing” touch down dance. He rolled up a newspaper and whapped Beckham on the nose.
- Republicans released their newest tax plan this week. According to the Tax Policy Center, 80% of the benefit of the plan goes to the top 1%. During a press conference, reporters asked Mick Mulvaney if this was true. He responded by saying, “It’s impossible to say.” Impossible to say? That’s a response for a magic 8-ball, not the Director of the Office of Management and Budget. That’s like me asking a waiter if tip is included in the bill and he shrugs and says, “fuck poor people.” It’s Mulvaney’s whole job to say. People aren’t picked in a raffle to receive deep tax cuts. They’re chosen specifically by friends in the Republican party they’ve paid off.