Weekend Update

• White supremacist Chris Cantwell was kicked off dating site OKCupid. No word yet on his status with OKKKCupid.

• While defending Trump’s “both sides” statement, Maine governor Paul LePage announced removing Confederate statues would akin to taking down the 9/11 memorial. If that’s true, the 9/11 memorial has undergone some serious changes.

• Five statues memorializing our racist history have been removed since Charlottesville. The statues include Roger B. Taney, Robert E. Lee, and Stephen K. Bannon.

• It’s official. Steve Bannon has been fired. Out of respect, at any Nazi rallies this weekend, tiki torches will be held at half-mast.

• The ACLU will no longer defend hate groups protesting with firearms. But everything else is fair game.

• A truck carrying $80,000 worth of chocolate was stolen from Neustadt, Germany this week. Police currently have no leads but I recognize this MO. 

• This week Lebanon finally abolished their “Marry Your Rapist” law, which forced women to marry the men who raped them. “That gives us an idea.” Said Texas lawmakers.